Collin is 1 Month Old

Collin

One Month Old

I can't believe Collin is 1 month old. As all of us mothers know time does goes by too fast. It seems like just yesterday that we were in the hospital anxiously awaiting his arrival. Oh how our hearts have grown everyday that he has been with us. I remember worrying how would I ever love another child as much as I love Carter. Well the minute he was placed in my arms it was love at first sight. I don't know that anything compares to the love a Mother feels for her children. The only thing I can compare it to is the love our heavenly Father feels for us.  And the truth is, He love us more. That is hard to comprehend that my God loves me more than I love my own children, 

Wow, How blessed am I.

As I sit down to type tonight my shoulder aches from carrying a baby around all day, my eyes are heavy from being up all night nursing, the laundry is overflowing, and still I know that this is such a honor to be the mother of these children. I look forward to teaching them about Jesus and training them in his ways. I have days that feel so overwhelming and frustrating. Like when Carter decides to go poo-poo in his pants 5 minutes after we sat on the potty for 30, or when Collin has eaten, been changed, and still I can't calm him from crying, or when in the 20 minutes I'm nursing Cartre can destroy everything in his path. But I wouldn't change it. Instead I reflect on

Wow, How blessed am I.

You hear from people who are done raising their children that looking back it was the best time in their life. Not only have I heard this from other mothers but I feel like God has specifically spoke this to my heart. He has said to me over and over "Natalie, this is the best time of your life!" Being young and newly married, fixing up our first home, and having babies, I know that I will look back on even my most difficult days as a wife and a mother and smile because I do believe this is one of the greatest times in my life. I try to tell myself that daily and take advantage of every moment I have to make memories with my boys. 

Wow, How blessed am I.

So I'm going to retire for tonight and go up stairs and kiss Carter goodnight (who is cuddled up with every stuffed animal he owns in his bed) and go rock my baby Collin to sleep (he doesn't like to self soothe ;)!

Wow, How blessed am I.

Scottish Rites Hospital for Children

Lunch before our appointment at a Yummy Italian restaurant!

Chris was so embarrassed that I made him take this picture. He didn't understand why I wanted a picture in front of the hospital. I told him I needed a picture for the blog. DUH! ;)

Tuesday Collin had his first appointment at Scottish Rites Children's Hospital in Dallas. The boys and I went down earlier in the week and stayed with my mom. Chris flew in Tuesday morning so that he could make the appointment. I was so anxious about this appointment. I didn't know what to expect but I was excited to have some of my questions answered. The appointment went well. His doctor was very nice and encouraging. After examining his hands she said that she felt like all his fingers and hand were getting sufficient blood flow at this time. Our pediatrician in M-town, Dr. Reese, had been concerned about his middle finger on his right hand. She had told me there might be a possibility they would amputate it, but our Dr. at Scottish Rite didn't think that would be necessary which was a huge sigh of relief and answer to prayer. She then discussed with us the option of some different surgeries to improve the function and appearance of both of his hands. She talked about some different options for his middle finger on his right hand as well as his index finger on his left and things that could be done on his arm as well. I felt encouraged that there were options for us to consider. She said we would look at doing these surgeries between 1 and 3 years of age. I was kinda surprised that they would do it that young. But timing is essential to catch the right time in his hands growth. So that is what we know for now, we will go back next year to have his hands looked at again and discuss our further options.

After our appointment we took a tour of the hospital which was amazing. It is such a neat place and every aspect of the hospital is made to be kid friendly. What a blessing this hospital is to so many children including Collin.

We have a lot to think about and consider.Chris and I are praying for a spirit of discernment to fall upon us as we begin to pray our way through what is right for Collin. Thankfully we have some time to do that and nothing had to be done right now. 

Shake your Bom Bom...

Carter came out of the shower last night dancing all over the house. I asked him who taught him his Bom Bom dance and he said "My Daddy". Who knew Daddy and Carter are busting out the moves when Mommy isn't around. We laughed for the longest time. Remember to turn the music player off so you can hear him sing. Hope this brings a smile to your day!

I can't wait to show this to his wife one day! ;)

Summer Time Fun

Today we made our first adventure to the pool for the summer. My childhood best friend lives at an apartment complex with an amazing pool. It feels like you are at a resort. They have a big shallow end that is only about a foot deep so I just knew that Carter was going to have a great time. It took me 2 hours to get us all dressed, packed, fed, and out the door this morning. I am still trying to get it together. That has been the biggest adjustment about having two kids, trying to get us ready and loaded in the car. We made it to the pool and Collin was napping peacefully in the shade while Carter on the other hand wanted nothing to do with the water. He felt like it would be more fun to throw all the rocks in the water. I finally just picked him up and made him get in. He warmed up to after a little while. Once Kristina (my BFF) started to play catch with him he thought the water was pretty fun after all. So the morning was going well. I was getting a tan, Carter was playing, and Collin was napping. That is until Carter slipped on the step and went under water for a minute. He did not think that was fun. He wanted to get out of the pool after that. Not only did he want to get out of the pool he wanted to let me know about every 10 seconds that he had "fell in the pool". Swimming was over at this point but now Collin was up and ready to eat. I don't know about you but how are you supposed to nurse a baby in a bathing suit without completely exposing yourself to the world.  I had a halter top on and it was near impossible. Someone needs to come up with a nursing bathing suit. I finally just gave up and made a trip inside to finish feeding. We were worn out so we packed up to leave. (which takes another 30 minutes)But not without trying to capture a few pictures. You can see below how well that went. None the less, we had fun. It was another adventure in the Mommy World I live in. 

The boys and I at the pool, it's near impossible to get a pictures with both of them!

Puddin enjoying the peanut butter off the crackers. 

Cupcake working on his tan! (don't worry he was in the shade most of the time)

My bestie since we were 3 years old with our baby boys.

Rivers and Collin; they are only 3 weeks apart..

"It's not that bad..."

"It's not that bad...", is that supposed to make me feel better? Of course I know the answer to that. This isn't a post to make anyone feel bad I just need to vent. I know good and well that everyone who has said this to me or Chris has meant it with the best of intentions but I have to be honest and say I HATE THIS PHRASE! It's kinda like when someone you love dies and everyone says "Well at least they are in a better place". That doesn't make you feel better because you want them here with you. That is how I feel about the saying "It's not that bad..." I know that it's not that bad compared to children with missing fingers or limbs or terrible diseases and believe me I'm so thankful for that. But it is that bad compared to children with perfectly normal hands who will never have to deal with the challenges of being a child with hand differences. When people tell me "It's not that bad..." I want to yell from the top of my lungs "HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU OR YOUR CHILD'S HANDS LOOKED THAT WAY?" It frustrated me because I don't want Collin's  ABS to be minimized. I understand why people say this. I would probably say the same thing if the tables were turned. People don't know what to say. I just hate it, you know? As a mother you feel like you should fix everything for your child. You meet every need they have. You bathe them, feed them, comfort them, and try your best to make their life as meaningful as possible. I feel guilty because I can't fix this for him. I can't protect him from every kid who will make fun of him. I can't take away every doctor's appointment the future holds. I just wish I could fix his hands. He is my precious baby boy and he deserves his hands to look as normal as possible. As a mother it kills me that I can't do this for him. To everyone who has said "It's not that bad.." please don't feel bad. I know that each and everyone of you loves us and means to be encouraging. But I think it would feel better if someone just said "This really sucks, I'm sorry!" I'm sure I will get better with dealing with the response of others but for today I just needed to vent.

Collin's 1st Photo Shoot

Collin's  First Photo Shoot

Gazing up at his Daddy

I love this picture...

Look how tiny he is compared to his Daddy's hand!

Aww... isn't his nakedness cute?

So sweet...

This is my favorite!

He loves him so much...

Swinging with Mommy...

Love this one...

My baby...