It's That Time Again....

We flew into Dallas this morning because it is that time again! Collin is having his second surgery tomorrow morning at Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children. We have to check into the hospital at 5am and his surgery is scheduled for 10am (could be a little bit earlier). Here are some specific ways you can be praying for our family tomorrow and the days to follow:

1. Please pray that Collin would not be too fussy in the morning since he won't be able to have anything to eat or drink after midnight tonight.

2. Please pray for Dr. Oieshi, his nurse, and the anesthesiologist, that their hands would be guided by the Lord and that they would receive wisdom during the operation.

3. Please pray that Collin would respond well to the anesthesia.

4. Please pray that Collin's oxygen levels would stay up after surgery. (this was a slight concern after his last surgery)

5. Please pray that every tendon and nerve would be protected, that the surgery would be a huge success.

6. Please pray that Collin would adjust well to his cast, with as little frustration as possible.

7. Please pray for a restful night after surgery. I will be staying with Collin in the hospital (on a very uncomfortable chair), being pregnant and taking care a toddler after surgery is an exhausting task.

Thank you for covering our family in prayer. We believe that our God is the God who is able to restore hands and we know that He can use these surgeries to do such healing. Please stand in agreement with us. If you are new to the blog or weren't following us during Collin's first surgery you can read the post from his first surgery HERE that talks about what God has shown me and what we are believing for Collin's hands. We have a long day tomorrow so I better call it a night. I will update through the blog and facebook. (excuse the spelling or grammer, it is late and I am tired ;)

Surgery Day and God's faithfulness!

Exhale......... That is how I feel tonight, that it is time to exhale! I have to begin by saying thank you to every one who has lifted us up in prayer the past couple days, we have felt them tremendously! Every text, email, phone call, has been a source of encouragement.

Friday morning came early as the alarm sounded at 3:45am, Chris and I got ready as quietly as possibly, trying not to wake Collin until minutes before it was time to leave. Usually the morning of any event or stressful time, I feel the uneasiness down deep in my stomach, its kind of a nauseous anxious feeling. I was pleased to wake up without that at all. We snatched Collin from his bed in his jammies and headed to the hospital. Collin did not fall back asleep instead he was wide awake and ready for action. We went through the whole admission process with the nurse as Collin was semi cooperative ;). We got Collin changed into his hospital gown and spent our in between time watching playhouse Disney!

 



Just finished being admitted.

 We were blessed to have my parents and one of my best friends, Lesley, their with us to show their support! Chris' parents kept Carter for us so we will be able to focus our full attention on Collin. We prayed over Collin before the doctors came in and truly felt the presence of God in our midst. I had prayed for peace and calmness but I never imagined I could be so calm. They gave Collin some medicine that makes him loopy so that the separation wouldn't be so difficult. Chris and I were able to go down with him to the pre-surgery waiting area. We waited for the loopy medicine to kick in. It was quite comical as we waited in this area with other patients and their parents. It was sort of like a party. Most of the kids were either passed out of looking extremely silly. Then the nurses began handing out stickers, pinwheels, sunglasses, and it began to seem like we had walked into the fair. The anesthesiologist spoke with us about how she would be sedating him and about the breathing tube and so forth, which was a little overwhelming. Then it was time to let him go. I won't lie, I did not want to let him out of my arms. A part of me wanted to tell them we had changed our mind. But with one deep breath I handed him, paci, and puppy into the Dr's arms. Thankfully his medicine had kicked in and he didn't cry. That doesn't mean that I didn't cry. (they should give the parents the medicine ;) My eyes glassed over with tears but after a big hug from Chris and a prayer, I felt peaceful. We went and met up with my parents and Les in the cafeteria and then went to the surgery waiting room and waited, and waited, and waited. For the first 90 minutes, I felt pretty good. I was able to breathe, laugh, and have good conversation with everyone. That last 30 minutes I was definitely ready for the pager to go off, and sure enough it did.  

Our Rockstar!

Waiting for surgery.....

Chris and I were able to go to the recovery room to see him. I have to admit that we were taken back by how puney he looked. I had prepared myself for everything pre-surgery but I didn't realize he would look that way post surgery. His lips were swollen and he had a sore on his mouth from the breathing tube. His face was swollen and he had an oxygen mask on. Then his cast was much bigger than we expected. Then we noticed that they had put a cast on his puppies hand which made us laugh. They moved Collin to the impatient unit and we all just watched him sleep. He didn't really wake up until a few hours later. When he did, I tried to hold him but because of the weight of his cast it was more comfortable for him to lay in his bed. He stayed pretty out of it the entire day. Staying the night in the hospital is never fun and it wasn't for him either. He had a restless night and I got zero sleep but we survived.

Right after surgery

  

Puney.....

 


Collin and Puppy both have casts ;)

 

 Today he seems to be getting back to himself a little more. He is trying to get back to sitting up and walking without falling over to the side. Because of his cast his balance is off and he is trying to adjust to doing things with his cast. He has done as well as any 16 month old I know could. Absolutely amazing how he has dealt with it all. He is our little trooper.

Getting ready to be discharged from the hospital

 God has been so faithful to our family this weekend. We felt God's peace like never before, Collin responded to anesthesia without getting sick, he is adjusting well to his cast besides the first time he noticed it when he slapped it over and over and yelled at it ;), the Dr's said the surgery went great and we are expecting wonderful results when his cast is removed, answer after answer after answer. Thank you again for all the prayers and support it truly has been an awesome experience. It has not been fun to see my baby in pain but it has been amazing to experience God's faithfulness and peace.

Please Pray!

Tomorrow is the big day and a full range of emotions and thoughts have flooded my mind this evening, I don't know how I will possibly sleep. I took some pictures of Collin's hands tonight so we would have some before and after pictures to look at after he has his cast removed. In a strange way there is something sad about changing his hands. I remember when he was born and we we took him to Scottish Rite when he was only 3 weeks old I worried that they wouldn't be able to do anything for Collin's hands. Now 16 months later I am sitting here the night before his surgery and apart of me is sad that we are going to change him. I am sure that sounds strange and ironic but it is just part of the mixture of feelings I am experiencing at the moment. For the past two weeks people have been asking me if I was nervous for Collin's surgery. In the beggining I would say "yes, a little bit" but the more I prayed about it the more I felt like God was speaking to me about my feelings and emotions about Collin's surgery. Any mother feels worry, anxiety, and fear to trust thier child into the care of surgeons and nurses your barely know. I felt like I should be worried, I should be fearful, I should be anxious! And don't get me wrong my flesh would love to embrace these feelings and emotions but my God says something else. HE says:

Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition present your requests to God, And the peace of God , which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
                                                                                                             Phillipians 4:6-7

When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise,  in God I trust, I will not be afraid.
                                                                                                              Psalms 56:3

So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
                                                                                                              Isiah 41:10

I sought the Lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
                                                                                                              Pslam 34:4

Do not worry..........
                                    Matthew 6:21

For God has not given you a spirit of fear , but of power, of love, and of a sound mind.
                                                                                                              2 Timothy 1:7

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
                                                                            1 Peter 5:7

Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way.
                                                                                                              2 Thessolonians 3:16

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we Trust in the name of our Lord our God.
                                                                                                              Pslam 20:7

Over the past few weeks as I have prayed and sought God about tomorrow, I felt like he addressed this issue the most. As a mother I have every right to be anxious, nervous, fearful, and worried. But as a believer in Jesus Christ I am called to walk in trust, to lay my anxieties and fears at his feet, and recieve the peace that only He can bring. My mind would love to wonder tonight. Wonder about what ifs and risks and the terrifying thought of handing my baby over but I am trying to meditate on the scriptures above and hold onto the promises of the awesome God I serve.

A couple of weeks ago a good friend of mine said that she had been reading some scripture that she wanted me to read. She said that these scriptures were about hands and she felt like they would be encouraging for me. I was anxious to get home and read what she was referring too. When I got home I quickly opened up my bible to Mark 3:1 and this is what I began to read:

 And He entered the synagogue again, and a man was there who had a withered hand. ² So they watched Him closely, whether He would heal him on the Sabbath, so that they might accuse Him. ³ And He said to the man who had the withered hand, “Step forward.” ⁴ Then He said to them, “Is it lawful on the Sabbath to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?” But they kept silent. ⁵ And when He had looked around at them with anger, being grieved by the hardness of their hearts, He said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored as whole as the other.

WOW, right? I have read several incidents of healing in the bible but I don't think I have ever read this one in particular. How cool is it that my God is a God that restores hands. What hope I have found in these scriptures. Since Collin was born, I never considered him as a case for healing. After all, the doctors claimed his condition permanent. They told me that the most they could do was smoothe out some of the scar tissue to improve fuction and looks but they couldn't replace missing bones or form finger nails on his nubby fingers. I believe that the God of the bible is the same God of today and if he restored hands to whole then,  I believe he can restore hands to whole today! I don't believe that we can tell God what to do, but I do believe we can ask. I believe that God is able to grow bones, form fingernails, and lengthen fingers and I am asking God to begin a restoration in Collin's hands. Whether that be through surgeries, time, or miraculously I know that he is able. What I don't know is God's BIG plan, I can only see the small piece in front of me. I don't know if God has plans to reveal himself through healing Collin supernaturally or if he will recieve more glory through Collin walking out this journey of having different hands. Whatever God's plan is, it will not change my faith, it will not change the goodness of God, it will not change how much we know God loves Collin. But we know that he is able and we are asking that tomorrow would be the beggining of restoration to Collin's hands. I ask that you would stand in agreement with us and pray for restoration for our precious baby.

We will be admitting Collin to Texas Scottish Rite Hospital at 5:00am. His surgery is scheduled for 8:00am and is expected to be over some time aroudn 10:00am. Here are some specific ways you can be praying for us:

1. Please pray that God would command his angels concerning Collin to guard him during surgery. (Pslam 91:11)

2. Please pray for Dr. Oishi, the nurses, anethesiologist, and every one else on the surgery team. Pray that they would have supernatural rest, that the Lord would guide their hands, and give them wisdom as they work on Collin's hands.

3. Please pray that God would wash us in his peace!

4. Please pray that Collin would respond well to anesthesia without getting sick.

5. Please pray that every nerve and tendon would be protected as they reconstuct Collin's hand.

6. Please pray he would adjust well to his cast.

Thank you so much for all the love, support, and prayers! Keep checking for an update, I will blog sometime tomorrow after surgery!

Collin's Doctor Appointment

Today I am recooperating after a long day at Scottish Rites Hospital for Children. Yesterday we drove to Dallas for Collin's early appointment. We hadn't been to Scottish Rites since he was 3 weeks old. Our morning began in radiology where we waited to have the first set of hand x-rays done. Daddy, Collin, and I went into the room where we were drapped in radiation protection aprons. Collin sat in Daddy's lap as the radioloist did his best to straighten out his hands. Collin hates for anyone to mess with his hands so decided to not cooperate with the radiologist. All of that to say we got the pictures taken and moved over to the hand clinic waiting room. We had a confusing morning as we didn't see our doctor, but a fill in. In the beggining she gave us some wrong information. One minute she said we would be waiting for him to turn two before beginning surgery and then ten minutes later she sent a nurse in to explain the do's and dont's of surgery day and to schedule it. She told me our doctor was in an emergency surgery and I could just meet him the morning of surgery. I informed her I didn't feel comfortable with that and I had too many questions I needed to ask him. I didn't drive six hours to not even meet the surgeon who will be opperating on my baby's hands. They said we could come back in the afternoon but Chris had a flight to catch so Collin and I took him back to the airport and then went back to the hospital. At this point in our day I was feeling very confused and discouraged. When we got back we met our hand surgeon Dr Oieshi. He was fantastic, so helpful, friendly, and informative. After introducing himself to Collin and I, the hour long appointment began.

He began by showing me Collin's x-rays which I was glad to see. He showed me where Collin is missing bone. On his left hand he is missing the top two finger bones on his pointer finger and he just has a sliver of bone on the top of his middle finger. On his right hand he is missing the top two finger bones. He talked to me about the bands on Collin's wrist. He said they were causing some edema (swelling) and he felt like we needed to go ahead and do surgery on the left hand and wrist this year. He is going to perform a Z-plasty surgery around his wrist and affected fingers. Then six months later we will do the right hand. He also said that around age four or five he would have to have one or two more surgeries. (I was kinda of surprised to hear that) The surgery itself can last any where from one to four hours. He said he expects it to only take two. We will check in early in the morning and stay one night in the hospital. His hand will be casted up to his elbow to keep him from wiggling out of the cast. The cast will completely cover his fingertips, so he won't be able to use that hand at all while it is casted. He will be in a cast for 4 weeks.

The scheduling office will call me next week but they expect it to be in about four months. I know children have surgery all the time but putting my baby under anethesia makes me really nervous. In a strange way it was comforting to hear that the surgery was necessary and not elective. Meaning there was more reasons than solely cosmetic to do the surgeries. Chris and I had really stressed over making this decision (to operate or not) and Dr. O just kinda made that decisions for us. He explained that if he didn't have the surgeries there could be later complications caused from the edema. I feel better than I did yesterday morning and as much as I am dreading surgery day, I am looking forward to starting this process and getting it over with.

Thanks so much for everyone's prayers yesterday!

Scottish Rites Hospital for Children

Lunch before our appointment at a Yummy Italian restaurant!

Chris was so embarrassed that I made him take this picture. He didn't understand why I wanted a picture in front of the hospital. I told him I needed a picture for the blog. DUH! ;)

Tuesday Collin had his first appointment at Scottish Rites Children's Hospital in Dallas. The boys and I went down earlier in the week and stayed with my mom. Chris flew in Tuesday morning so that he could make the appointment. I was so anxious about this appointment. I didn't know what to expect but I was excited to have some of my questions answered. The appointment went well. His doctor was very nice and encouraging. After examining his hands she said that she felt like all his fingers and hand were getting sufficient blood flow at this time. Our pediatrician in M-town, Dr. Reese, had been concerned about his middle finger on his right hand. She had told me there might be a possibility they would amputate it, but our Dr. at Scottish Rite didn't think that would be necessary which was a huge sigh of relief and answer to prayer. She then discussed with us the option of some different surgeries to improve the function and appearance of both of his hands. She talked about some different options for his middle finger on his right hand as well as his index finger on his left and things that could be done on his arm as well. I felt encouraged that there were options for us to consider. She said we would look at doing these surgeries between 1 and 3 years of age. I was kinda surprised that they would do it that young. But timing is essential to catch the right time in his hands growth. So that is what we know for now, we will go back next year to have his hands looked at again and discuss our further options.

After our appointment we took a tour of the hospital which was amazing. It is such a neat place and every aspect of the hospital is made to be kid friendly. What a blessing this hospital is to so many children including Collin.

We have a lot to think about and consider.Chris and I are praying for a spirit of discernment to fall upon us as we begin to pray our way through what is right for Collin. Thankfully we have some time to do that and nothing had to be done right now. 

The Verdict Is In!

Well Thursday I went back to the neurologist to get the results from the MRI. It was normal. Praise God for that. Expecting to receive an answer to what that meant, I was surprised at her response. I don't know. I don't know what caused your legs to do that, I don't know if the symptoms will return, I don't know if it is related to the lesion from before, I don't know. We will just have to wait and see what happens after I have the baby. To see if the symptoms return or if anything new starts. If it does then she said we will do more MRI's at that time. I have to be honest I left her office in tears. Tears of frustration. We have been on this crazy roller coaster ride for 6 months, spent lots of money, lots of time, and lots of concern, to end with a big I don't know. I was relieved that I didn't walk out of her office with a life changing diagnosis but I didn't feel like anything had been resolved. Carter and I drove back home that afternoon and I had lots of time to think about it all. And in all things we should be praising God, and in this I will too. I will count it a blessing and pray that we won't go through this again. We are going to trust that God knows why all this happened and he knows if it will happen again. So I'm so thankful that we can put this all on the back burner for the time being and focus on the blessings in our life. It is freeing to be able to focus on the great things going on with my body instead of all the other. So we are going to turn our focus to the precious baby boy inside of me and try not to worry about the unknowns! Thank you to everyone for all your prayers, this has been a challenging time and we are so glad to get a break from it all.

MS or not MS? That seems to be the question!

OK, well I think it is about time to catch everyone up and get everyone on the same page. Thursday Carter and I drove to Weatherford because Friday I had a MRI scheduled to look for lesions on my neck (cervical spine). We don't know the results yet but I will see my neurologist here in Ft. Worth this coming Thursday. So in the mean time while we are waiting for the test results I thought I would give everyone an update on what has been going on. I can't even keep track anymore with who I have told what to and when!
Five years ago I had this crazy episode with my eyes that lasted a week. It was if I was looking through a kaleidoscope. It would only last a few minutes but my vision was so distorted that I couldn't even drive. Everyone thought my retina was detaching so I saw three different eye doctors and they all reassured us that nothing was wrong with my eyes. That it must be in my brain. So my primary care physician at the time ordered and MRI of the brain to make sure everything was OK. Come to find out it wasn't. There was a lesion in the corpus collasum part of the brain. If you want that in English it was a white spot that showed up in the center part of the brain that connects the two halves. He said that this location is where Multiple Sclerosis patients have lesions. So after being completely terrified my Mom made the decision to take me to a neurologist in Dallas. The next months followed with more MRIs, a spinal tap, lab work, and seeing and MS specialist as well as a neurosurgeon. They told us this is either MS or a brain tumor. Neither seemed optimistic in my 17 year old mind. So after lots of prayer and my follow up MRI just 6 weeks later showed nothing. They said they had no medical explanation for what is was or where it went. We gave all the credit to GOD and just believed that He had worked a miracle.
So what does all of that have to do with today. Well in May I started having these weird cramps and tingling in my legs. And over they next months it became extremely uncomfortable to the point I couldn't sleep. I really didn't feel to concerned about it. I thought maybe its something in my diet or I have a pinched nerve. After my Mom and HB insisting that I go to the Dr., I went to see my primary care physician. After she did her exam and spoke with my about my symptoms she assured me it wasn't restless leg syndrome and that I needed to be seen my a neurologist. I was a little shocked and some fear began to sink in. I saw a neurologist in M-town(who we will leave unnamed) who seemed to be playing the guessing game. I had an MRI of my spine and brain and both came back normal. I just assumed that that would rule out MS. After never giving us an answer we felt very insecure with his opinion and decided to seek another. We later found out that on the referral to the new Dr. he put my diagnosis as MS.
So I came to Ft. Worth to see Dr. Hughes in October. She reviewed everything and performed a neurological exam which she said was abnormal. She thought we should do all the blood work we could to narrow out everything else and do an MRI of my neck to look for lesion. All the blood work came back normal which would normally seem like a positive but I'm my case it wasn't. Because all the things she was testing for in the blood would have been the lesser or 2 evils. And if your wondering what is this whole lesion thing. They are looking for lesions on the spine or brain because that is one of the most evident ways to diagnose Multiple Sclerosis.
So there you go. HB and I are exhausted and frustrated with it all but we are trusting the Lord to see us through. Whether He will perform a healing on my body or this will be part of the Lord's way of using me for his eternal purpose we will trust in Him.
So join us in praying that this limbo process will come to a close and that we will have answers soon. I will post more after my Dr. appt on Thursday.