Christmas Light Night!

HoHoHO................Merry Christmas!

Wednesday night we went to look at Christmas lights. We had so much fun. We started off by going to the live Nativity at First Baptist Church. It was really neat. It was a great opportunity to talk about the birth of Jesus with Carter. And he was so excited because there were goats and lambs there. So after we finished up there Daddy and I got Starbucks to keep us warm. Carter wasn't left out though. Since he is to young for hot chocolate I packed him a special snack, Marshmallows! He had never had them before so he was in hog heaven. We enjoyed our coffee's and marshmallows as we looked at all the Christmas lights in grasslands. It was so much fun. Carter was a little confused at why we had to stay in the car but he was pretty patient. We saw lots of Santa's, choo-choo trains and even a few Mickey Mouse (hotdog) and Pooh. Just as things were winding down and we were headed home. There he was, Santa Clause. There was a Santa in a sleigh pulled by a horse. You could take rides around the bank for $5. What a bargain. Carter loved it, especially the part where Santa gave him candy. He now says HoHOHO! Not quite ready to go home, we stopped by Barnes and Nobles to pick up a couple new Christmas books. We have enjoyed reading them the last few nights. We are enjoying the Christmas season so much. It has been so much fun to start some of our own family traditions and carry on some old ones as well. What an amazing gift we have been given. Jesus Christ. Hope everyone is enjoying their Christmas season.

Santa 2008!

When we were in Weatherford we decided to take a break from shopping and go visit Santa. I wasn't sure how this would go over considering last year. Carter wasn't a Santa fan. But believe it or not he Loved Santa. He was fascinated by his big belt like Daddy's. So we had his picture taken and left. The next night we went to Christmas in the Square. There was another Santa there. So we got to see Santa again and get another picture. He hasn't stopped talking about Santa since. When you ask him about Santa he gets a Big O face. That means he is excited. So Santa was a hit this year for sure.

The Verdict Is In!

Well Thursday I went back to the neurologist to get the results from the MRI. It was normal. Praise God for that. Expecting to receive an answer to what that meant, I was surprised at her response. I don't know. I don't know what caused your legs to do that, I don't know if the symptoms will return, I don't know if it is related to the lesion from before, I don't know. We will just have to wait and see what happens after I have the baby. To see if the symptoms return or if anything new starts. If it does then she said we will do more MRI's at that time. I have to be honest I left her office in tears. Tears of frustration. We have been on this crazy roller coaster ride for 6 months, spent lots of money, lots of time, and lots of concern, to end with a big I don't know. I was relieved that I didn't walk out of her office with a life changing diagnosis but I didn't feel like anything had been resolved. Carter and I drove back home that afternoon and I had lots of time to think about it all. And in all things we should be praising God, and in this I will too. I will count it a blessing and pray that we won't go through this again. We are going to trust that God knows why all this happened and he knows if it will happen again. So I'm so thankful that we can put this all on the back burner for the time being and focus on the blessings in our life. It is freeing to be able to focus on the great things going on with my body instead of all the other. So we are going to turn our focus to the precious baby boy inside of me and try not to worry about the unknowns! Thank you to everyone for all your prayers, this has been a challenging time and we are so glad to get a break from it all.

MS or not MS? That seems to be the question!

OK, well I think it is about time to catch everyone up and get everyone on the same page. Thursday Carter and I drove to Weatherford because Friday I had a MRI scheduled to look for lesions on my neck (cervical spine). We don't know the results yet but I will see my neurologist here in Ft. Worth this coming Thursday. So in the mean time while we are waiting for the test results I thought I would give everyone an update on what has been going on. I can't even keep track anymore with who I have told what to and when!
Five years ago I had this crazy episode with my eyes that lasted a week. It was if I was looking through a kaleidoscope. It would only last a few minutes but my vision was so distorted that I couldn't even drive. Everyone thought my retina was detaching so I saw three different eye doctors and they all reassured us that nothing was wrong with my eyes. That it must be in my brain. So my primary care physician at the time ordered and MRI of the brain to make sure everything was OK. Come to find out it wasn't. There was a lesion in the corpus collasum part of the brain. If you want that in English it was a white spot that showed up in the center part of the brain that connects the two halves. He said that this location is where Multiple Sclerosis patients have lesions. So after being completely terrified my Mom made the decision to take me to a neurologist in Dallas. The next months followed with more MRIs, a spinal tap, lab work, and seeing and MS specialist as well as a neurosurgeon. They told us this is either MS or a brain tumor. Neither seemed optimistic in my 17 year old mind. So after lots of prayer and my follow up MRI just 6 weeks later showed nothing. They said they had no medical explanation for what is was or where it went. We gave all the credit to GOD and just believed that He had worked a miracle.
So what does all of that have to do with today. Well in May I started having these weird cramps and tingling in my legs. And over they next months it became extremely uncomfortable to the point I couldn't sleep. I really didn't feel to concerned about it. I thought maybe its something in my diet or I have a pinched nerve. After my Mom and HB insisting that I go to the Dr., I went to see my primary care physician. After she did her exam and spoke with my about my symptoms she assured me it wasn't restless leg syndrome and that I needed to be seen my a neurologist. I was a little shocked and some fear began to sink in. I saw a neurologist in M-town(who we will leave unnamed) who seemed to be playing the guessing game. I had an MRI of my spine and brain and both came back normal. I just assumed that that would rule out MS. After never giving us an answer we felt very insecure with his opinion and decided to seek another. We later found out that on the referral to the new Dr. he put my diagnosis as MS.
So I came to Ft. Worth to see Dr. Hughes in October. She reviewed everything and performed a neurological exam which she said was abnormal. She thought we should do all the blood work we could to narrow out everything else and do an MRI of my neck to look for lesion. All the blood work came back normal which would normally seem like a positive but I'm my case it wasn't. Because all the things she was testing for in the blood would have been the lesser or 2 evils. And if your wondering what is this whole lesion thing. They are looking for lesions on the spine or brain because that is one of the most evident ways to diagnose Multiple Sclerosis.
So there you go. HB and I are exhausted and frustrated with it all but we are trusting the Lord to see us through. Whether He will perform a healing on my body or this will be part of the Lord's way of using me for his eternal purpose we will trust in Him.
So join us in praying that this limbo process will come to a close and that we will have answers soon. I will post more after my Dr. appt on Thursday.

Bebe Broer!

Last night when Nana got home we put the DVD in of the sonogram so she could watch it. Carter was in there with us so I told him "look Puddin there is your little brother". He said broer? It was so cute. He would go up to the TV and say Bebe night night? We told him yes the baby is night night. So we turned it off and I went about my business for the night. About 20 minutes later he came over to me and said "Mommy, watch Bebe?" I asked you want to watch the Baby movie? And he said yeaa! And he did. I don't know how much he really comprehends but it melted my heart. He will be a great big brother! He needs a playmate other than Mommy!

It's A Boy!

HERE HE IS, OUR SWEET BABY BOY!

HE LOOKS PERFECT AND HEALTHY!

AND THERE IS NO DENYING IT, IT'S A BOY!

SEE THE ARROW :)

It's a Boy!!! Well no pink frilly dresses and tea parties this go round. The Lord must think I'm one tough Momma because come this May I will have two boys. I would be lying to say that there wasn't a moment of disappointment but I'm so lucky. I just had to get over the idea I had in my head of this baby girl and embrace the real life inside , another precious baby boy. Carter is my world and has brought me some of the greatest joys in my life and I know that this little boy will too. There is something about Mom's and sons that is so special. I have always seen that with my Mom and my brothers. ;) So we will gear up to take all those tubs of clothes out of storage and get busy on planning for our new addition. God knows what we need and for now he says BOYS! That perfectly fine. My sister-in-law put it best. Maybe God is saving our princess for when we have a house and a little more money to spoil her. We all know that girls are more expensive. When the sonogram was over I sat up and looked at Chris and said " Well that just means we will have to have another one!" He reassured me we would. So it's been an exciting and emotional day. But now that five o'clock has rolled around and I have had a nap, I'm feeling pretty good. We are so blessed to have been able to get pregnant so easy (planned or unplanned), to be able to have healthy pregnancies, and most of all to be given the gift of life. So we will rejoice in the blessings that God has given us.

Anxiously Excited and Nervous!

Well I have finally made it. Tomorrow is the big day. Tomorrow we go to have a sonogram to find out the sex of the baby. I am so excited to find out who this little life is inside of me but I'm a little nervous too. I know that it shouldn't matter boy or girl but it does. I really want a little girl. Not because I don't love my boy, I do, but because I want to have a little princess to dress up in pink dresses and big frilly bows. I want someone to teach ballet too and have tea party's with. I am a strong believer that God gives you the children you need. And I know that he already knows this child, boy or girl, and has great plans for him or her. I guess the only nerve racking part about it is that if this baby is a boy then I have no reassurance that I will ever have a girl. That would mean I would just have to hope.  And if this baby is a girl then I know that no matter how many kids we have or don't have that we have one of each. You know? SO yeah I'm so excited, but so nervous. Either way I feel so blessed that God has given us another beautiful gift of life. Boy or Girl ;) So be expecting an update tomorrow!!!

Carter's Christmas Tree

Well we are gearing up for Christmas around the house these days. Christmas decorations are in the works and I have been so excited to enjoy this season with Carter now that he can comprehend what is going on. At least more than last year. So of course I have planned lots of projects and fun things for us to do as we countdown till Christmas day. Who knows how many things we will really get to but we will try. So on Sunday after family dinner I was trying to get him to string fruit loops with me for his tree upstairs. He could have cared less. So I went about stringing fruit loops so we would have something to put on his tree. His Aunt A was over and I had asked her if she would mind finishing up my strand so I could go get Carter things ready for bed. When I returned to the kitchen, there he was completely focused on stringing fruit loops with his Aunt A, not his Mommy. Things don't always seem to go the way you plan. HAHA!

He let me sit down with him and we had lots of fun. I think he ate more than we strung. So last night we put the strands on his Christmas tree. And all day to day he has treated his Christmas tree like a candy necklace. Every time he walks by it he bites a chunk off. By Christmas morning there may only be a red ribbon left. Oh well its his tree and meant to be fun. It's a great time of year and I look forward to making memories and traditions that he will hold on to forever.

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Has it really been FIVE YEARS?

I can't believe that it has been five years today since my Dad died. In one way it feels like its been forever ago and in another sense its seems like just yesterday. So much has happened in my life the past five years. I have gotten married, had a baby, another on the way. And its sad to know that he hasn't been there for any of it. As rocky as the relationship and the chaos of life's circumstances were he was still my Daddy and I was always his baby girl. His Nat-Nat. I am so thankful that I had the time I did with him before he died. Time for healing and time for laughing. Time to be a family and time to grieve. As much as I miss his positive outlook on life I would never want him back the way he was. So sad, so depressed, sooo sick. He received the ultimate healing. This day five years ago God took him home. As much peace that I have felt over his death it is still sad that he isn't here. I always think about how my kids will never know there Granddaddy. Sometimes when he is really on my heart I can hear him. He would have called Snickers Hausy or Sporty. He called all the boys that. And know matter what told me "It will all be OK!" But I know one day we will spend eternity together and I look forward to that day.

Simple Sweets!

Isn't it amazing how some of the most simple words and gestures can make your day? I was having such a hard day today. We kinda got some discouraging news about Chirs' school today and it was just kinda the breaking point in my day. Things just might take longer than we had planned but we will keep pushing on. Lately I have felt like I have had no self control over any feeling or emotion that I have felt. I guess that is pregnancy for you. Anyways it was just an overflow of emotions. When will this ever be over? IS this doable? How will we do this when we have another baby? I wont have a nursery for this new baby or a big boy room for Carter. AHHH, I just felt like this sucks!!! But my precious mother-in-law always has the sensible but sweet things to say. She had so many cute ideas for the new baby and our room as well as Carter's Big Boy Room! She reassured me that we could make that happen. I feel fine now. I love her so much and feel so lucky that she has opened her heart and home up to us so fully. This doesn't suck, it is a blessing. Emotions seem to blurr things in the moment. I know she is probably reading this just know I love you and your words and gestures not only help my days seem brighter but our life seem easier. Another day we have made it through! Praise God!

Our new little BEAN!

Well it was a complete surprise and shock to find out that I was pregnant with our second baby. This was not part of OUR plan but we know that God's plans are higher than ours. And we are excited and feel so blessed to be having another one. I deeply desired to have another baby but just not under our stressful circumstances. But I believe that God gives you grace for what your dealt. And we know that His grace is sufficient. Last Tuesday we had our first doctor appointment with Dr. D. I had a sonogram and we got to listen to the baby's heartbeat. You know you would think that after experiencing it once you wouldn't be so blown away. But I was. To lay there and see this life inside of me and hear this beating heart is overwhelming. It brought tears to my eyes just like it did when I saw Carter on that screen for the first time. To know that God has created a child from us and already knows everything about him or her is amazing.

This pregnancy has been much harder than my first. I had some nausea for a few weeks but that has seemed to improve. My main complaint has just been feeling so exhausted. It is hard for me to get much of anything done these days. But I'm praying as I reach my second trimester that I will begin to have more energy and feel better.

I'm sure most of you know me well enough to know that I am hoping for a girl. The Hubs says he wants another boy but I don't believe him. I think he just says that to give me a hard time. Hub's family swears that it's another boy. Everyone else hasn't said to much. I know, I know, it shouldn't matter. And in the end it won't. Either boy or girl will be a blessing to my life. But I can hold on to my dream of a little girl for a little bit longer. We have scheduled a sex check sonogram for December 3! I can't wait. With Carter we didn't find out until I was 21 weeks prego. This time we only have to wait until 15 weeks. YEAH!

I hope everyone enjoys the blog. I thought it would be a great way to keep everyone posted about baby news, Carter milestones, Hub's school, and my ongoing medical news.

Love Bunches!

Natalie