Has it really been FIVE YEARS?

I can't believe that it has been five years today since my Dad died. In one way it feels like its been forever ago and in another sense its seems like just yesterday. So much has happened in my life the past five years. I have gotten married, had a baby, another on the way. And its sad to know that he hasn't been there for any of it. As rocky as the relationship and the chaos of life's circumstances were he was still my Daddy and I was always his baby girl. His Nat-Nat. I am so thankful that I had the time I did with him before he died. Time for healing and time for laughing. Time to be a family and time to grieve. As much as I miss his positive outlook on life I would never want him back the way he was. So sad, so depressed, sooo sick. He received the ultimate healing. This day five years ago God took him home. As much peace that I have felt over his death it is still sad that he isn't here. I always think about how my kids will never know there Granddaddy. Sometimes when he is really on my heart I can hear him. He would have called Snickers Hausy or Sporty. He called all the boys that. And know matter what told me "It will all be OK!" But I know one day we will spend eternity together and I look forward to that day.

Simple Sweets!

Isn't it amazing how some of the most simple words and gestures can make your day? I was having such a hard day today. We kinda got some discouraging news about Chirs' school today and it was just kinda the breaking point in my day. Things just might take longer than we had planned but we will keep pushing on. Lately I have felt like I have had no self control over any feeling or emotion that I have felt. I guess that is pregnancy for you. Anyways it was just an overflow of emotions. When will this ever be over? IS this doable? How will we do this when we have another baby? I wont have a nursery for this new baby or a big boy room for Carter. AHHH, I just felt like this sucks!!! But my precious mother-in-law always has the sensible but sweet things to say. She had so many cute ideas for the new baby and our room as well as Carter's Big Boy Room! She reassured me that we could make that happen. I feel fine now. I love her so much and feel so lucky that she has opened her heart and home up to us so fully. This doesn't suck, it is a blessing. Emotions seem to blurr things in the moment. I know she is probably reading this just know I love you and your words and gestures not only help my days seem brighter but our life seem easier. Another day we have made it through! Praise God!

Our new little BEAN!

Well it was a complete surprise and shock to find out that I was pregnant with our second baby. This was not part of OUR plan but we know that God's plans are higher than ours. And we are excited and feel so blessed to be having another one. I deeply desired to have another baby but just not under our stressful circumstances. But I believe that God gives you grace for what your dealt. And we know that His grace is sufficient. Last Tuesday we had our first doctor appointment with Dr. D. I had a sonogram and we got to listen to the baby's heartbeat. You know you would think that after experiencing it once you wouldn't be so blown away. But I was. To lay there and see this life inside of me and hear this beating heart is overwhelming. It brought tears to my eyes just like it did when I saw Carter on that screen for the first time. To know that God has created a child from us and already knows everything about him or her is amazing.

This pregnancy has been much harder than my first. I had some nausea for a few weeks but that has seemed to improve. My main complaint has just been feeling so exhausted. It is hard for me to get much of anything done these days. But I'm praying as I reach my second trimester that I will begin to have more energy and feel better.

I'm sure most of you know me well enough to know that I am hoping for a girl. The Hubs says he wants another boy but I don't believe him. I think he just says that to give me a hard time. Hub's family swears that it's another boy. Everyone else hasn't said to much. I know, I know, it shouldn't matter. And in the end it won't. Either boy or girl will be a blessing to my life. But I can hold on to my dream of a little girl for a little bit longer. We have scheduled a sex check sonogram for December 3! I can't wait. With Carter we didn't find out until I was 21 weeks prego. This time we only have to wait until 15 weeks. YEAH!

I hope everyone enjoys the blog. I thought it would be a great way to keep everyone posted about baby news, Carter milestones, Hub's school, and my ongoing medical news.

Love Bunches!

Natalie