"Not my child Monday!"

Did you almost die of embarrassment when your child pulled their own pants down at the library? Want to scream bloody murder when your toddler took a pair of scissors to the dog's fur? Feel like a terrible mother when your kid said a four-letter-word at a back to school event? Well don't! Mothers aren't perfect and neither are children. Let's 'fess up today because it's Not my child! Monday!

Sound liberating? Then let's get going!

 It was certainly was not my child who while sitting in my lap at the pediatricians office decided to give me an anatomy lesson.  He did not say "Mommy you have boobs?" as a I quickly brushed his hand away and tried to continue my conversation. And it wasn't my child who continued to tell me about "boobs" and "bras" during the entire visit. Thankfully our pediatrician is a woman so I wasn't too mortified.

And it was not my child who broke the R.O. spout while trying to use it as a drinking fountain.

Nor was it my child who climbed on the kitchen counter, got the faucet sprayer and began to water the artificial flowers on the bar. When asked what he was doing he did not say "I'm helping Nana water the flowers."

My child would never be the one to break the ceramic dog bowl at our Pastor's house. 

It wasn't my child who used the meat thermometer as if it was a hammer until he shattered glass all over the kitchen. Not my child.

Nor did my child color on the t.v. screen with his markers, he did not color on the kitchen counter with a permanent marker, and break ANOTHER picture frame.

After putting him down for a nap it was not my child who got up to dig for some treasure in the closet. Where he did not find his Nana's hat box and his toddler size vacuum. He did not think it was a good idea to shove the vacuum handle through the hatbox resulting in them both needing to find a new home in the dumpster. No, not my child.

And today while I was nursing Collin it was surely not my child who climbed onto the kitchen cabinets (he does not seem to do this often) to eat as many hershey kisses as he could before I caught him.

Today while he was supposed to be taking a potty break it was not my child who flushed an entire box of wipes down the toilet. (thankfully they were the flushable ones). 

Destructive, No, Not my child!